Do you go on a lot of first dates that lead nowhere? Are women regularly telling you they “didn’t feel the spark” or that they’d prefer to be friends, even though you felt a good connection? Most likely, this is because you’re not building enough attraction on these dates. In this guide, we’ll explore what it means to build attraction and how to do it.
Why does a man need to “build” attraction?
As men primarily experience attraction visually, you’ll probably know whether you want to be with a woman within seconds. That’s not how it works with women though.
Women primarily experience attraction emotionally. They usually get turned on by a man’s behavior more than his appearance. So, if you’re not behaving in an attractive way, a woman won’t be around you or even to date you again.
10 Tips To Build Attraction With A Woman On A First Date
Essentially, attraction-building is the process of showing off qualities that women find attractive. Here are 10 things you can do on a first date that will make a woman more attracted to you.
1. Lead
Being able to lead is a highly masculine quality. Women don’t want to have to lead on the first date at all. It’s a huge turn-off for them.
They want to date a leader So, make sure you’re the one to choose the location, plan what you’re doing, decide when to go to the next venue, etc. This decisiveness is crucial to building attraction.
2. Flirt
Flirting isn’t just about complimenting her. It’s a dance. You need to leave some mystery. A bit of push and pull.
Women don’t want to know that you’re completely sold on them, not during the first date anyway. They’d prefer if you seemed a bit unsure about them. This creates the space for them to chase you.
So, be subtle and sparing with your compliments. Do enough for them to see you have the balls to pull the trigger, but not so much that it kills all the mystery.
3. Tease
Teasing is a great flirting technique because it creates that space for her to chase your rapport. It shows you’re not desperate for her affection. Also, it demonstrates that you’re comfortable around her. After all, best friends tease each other all the time. Strangers are too scared to do it.
4. Touch
Women go just as wild for physical touch as men do. The difference is: you’ll need to build it up slowly with a woman. Perhaps you start with friendly pats on the arm, hugs, holding hands, etc. If she’s comfortable with that, then you can progress to more risque moves.
5. Tell high-value stories
If you have any stories about yourself that demonstrate attractive qualities, tell them! However, if it seems like you’re telling the story just to impress her, it can appear as if you’re trying too hard. That can be a huge turn-off. So, only tell the stories if they come up naturally in the conversation and be subtle with your boasting.
6. Show social proof
If you can demonstrate popularity and social competency in front of your date, take the opportunity to do so. That’s more proof that you’re a fun cool guy to be around. You’re not just faking it for her.
If you can vibe well with the barman or the waitress, that’s great. If you already know a bunch of people in the venue, that’s even better.
7. Discuss flirty topics
Most men and women enjoy asking each other fun flirty questions with people they trust not to judge them. If you can initiate these sorts of topics without any shame or embarrassment in your voice, that shows you won’t judge her for being sexual either.
Be careful not to overdo it though. Don’t be crude. Just like when you’re touching her, pay attention to her reaction and calibrate accordingly.
8. Express yourself shamelessly and passionately
When a man is nervous or feels like he’s not good enough for a woman, he begins to filter himself. He also blocks himself from communicating with full passion. She will sense this. And, needless to say, a woman doesn’t want a man who feels as if he’s below her.
When you express yourself passionately without filters, this shows that you’re comfortable in her presence. You feel you deserve her. You’re not worried about her opinion of you. This is incredibly attractive.
9. Make her laugh
A good sense of humor is one of the most important qualities that women look for in a man. If you can make her laugh, she’ll have a good time and will want to see you more. What’s more, it helps her relax. When she’s relaxed, she’ll be more open to experiencing feelings of arousal.
10. Look at the part
When you dress well and you’re well-groomed, it signals that you have self-respect. Expensive or classy clothes can signal wealth and success, which are also attractive qualities. If you look scruffy, that’s a clear sign you can’t look after yourself and don’t have your life together.
Don’t forget to build comfort as well…
It’s not enough to just build attraction on a first date. To make your relationship to the next level, you also need to make a woman comfortable in your presence.
She needs to be able to trust you and feel like she knows you well. You can build this comfort by telling personal stories about yourself, listening to hers, and showing that you actually care about her as a person.
Honestly, men tend to do this pretty well on a first date, but most struggle to build attraction on top of it. The tips in this article will prove to be the missing piece of the puzzle for most guys.
By following them, you’ll be more likely to see your first dates progress into second, third, and fourth dates, and maybe even into full-blown relationships.
Best of luck out there!
